Okay, that is a stupid title if there ever was one. For some odd reason I have to have a title to start writing… so, there it is.
I have been pre-writing (sorry, English writing teacher jargon). I mean, I have been thinking, dreaming, humming and washing dishes to the ideas I want to spill on this virtual page; yet, where to begin?
I realize I am a neurotic, middle aged Jewish woman with a great deal of privilege, but I don’t think that negates what I want to say here.
I want to say that I feel there is a level of stress in our lives, our culture, our country right now that is dragging many of us down, including me. Stress causes us to produce cortisol. Cortisol lowers our immunity to whatever bugs are circulating. For me, that is a recipe for disaster.
But, I am not that big of a concern. I am very fortunate. I am by no means whining about myself in this post. (Oh, and by the way, please, please forgive my incredibly simplified explanation of what stress does to the human body!).
I worry for the people that live on the edges of society. Who are they? The people whose jobs are at stake. The people who are trying to make do on a salary of less than $8.00 an hour. Not to mention all of those without health insurance.
Just recently I got a note from my insurance saying I will have to change brands of medication that I use for my IGG infusions. This is not a simple request. These drugs actually come from other people’s plasma and include their antibodies. I can’t use very many of the formulations. I can’t just randomly switch between the brands. Previous experience tells me that I have reactions to most of the formulations of the igg drug.
Someone will have to go to bat for me against the insurance company and hep me keep receiving the brand that works. That person will be my doctor so I am headed across town to break the bad news to her today.
Can you imagine what would happen if I didn’t have a doctor or insurance in the first place?
I would be very dead.
And now, we have an entire country that is constantly in stress, in flux. The nightly news is littered with strife.
There are protests, gun shots, lying, pointing of fingers and corrupt dealings at the highest levels and the business of running our country has not been getting done for several years. It has been getting UNDONE.
Whether you agree with me or not doesn’t matter. The fact is that we are at an impasse where I think we cannot move forward without a big change.
We cannot go on as we are and maintain this country as it has been. More and more of us are suffering for the behavior of those who were elected to represent our best wishes; our hopes and dreams and ensure our safety.
And now we are on the brink of war in the middle east. I have been praying for peace. It is not worth it for the US to fight Iran. I had trouble sleeping last night and that was one of the things that kept me awake.
Speaking of sleep, I can’t seem to get any. I have had insomnia all of my life but nothing like what I am dealing with now. I chose to get off of all the hard core sleeping medications. I have herbal supplements and a prescription for an older type of anti depressant that is supposed to help me sleep but have no side effects.
I am going to finish this post from hell even if it kills you, oops.. Me:)
I wrote all of the above during the fall semester. Then, when the semester was finally over and the holidays hit, I didn’t do any writing. All I did was run, run, run.
Ironically, I do a lot more sitting in one place when I am at work than I do at home.
I wrote all of that oblique/being anxious Sheisse (Shit) before the impeachment proceedings in the House even got underway. I thought I was stressed out in the fall?
HAHA!
Now we are all watching a three ringed circus on tv and in or news media, daily! I cannot believe this has come to pass. We have a president, (and yes, I am going to go there) whose lawyers are arguing that the fact that he withheld Congressional approved monies from a foreign power in order to force them into an investigation of his personal political ally is perfectly fine. In fact, his cadre’ of lawyers include men who have had close relationships with the like of a former dishonored impeachment and who is also the recently resigned president of a University (Baylor and Ken Starr) because he protected a football culture that condoned rape. His other top dog lawyer is someone who was friends with and a long time lawyer for: Jeffrey Epstein/Human Scum. The other is a man who was once fairly decent but now descended into darkness: Alan Duschowitz (Dershowitz). These are the quality of people our president has chosen to argue his innocence. What does that say to you? Oh, yes, we should not forget Sekulow or the president’s big friend, Crazy Guiliani.
Man, that is one heck of a team.
I am going to stop writing now. I think I will just end here with my major feeling at this junction in our history as a country and when I turn on the news or read another article:
WTF?
Months ago I saw an interview with Sarah Silverman on a talk show. She had a great idea. Whenever you see another person who feels similarly about the current situation as you do you should slam the heel of your right hand into your forehead. This would form a kind of salute of stupidity and thereby give you a sense of unity:)