I feel silly writing about the same thing a third time. I mean really, who cares?
After all that kvetching about weight and losing 15 pounds on a dime and the surgeon I actually did something really smart. I spoke with a nutritionist and she ‘happened’ to be just what I needed. (I don’t believe in accidents of that kind.)
She told me, “BMI is not a good measure of health and fitness. It is no longer used in my profession as a measure. You are doing very well. This doctor is telling you he doesn’t want to operate on you so please get a second opinion.”
That is the sum of what she said, anyway.
So I took her advice and after I thought about it for a minute I felt kinda silly for all the mental acrobatics I had been putting myself through. After all, the doctor in question is human and fallible. It is irritating that he couldn’t just be honest and say he was uncomfortable operating on me. But, I think doctors, especially surgeons, are trained to say they can do anything. Then I realized something else: it was his partner I had meant to see in the first place.
I went back online and realized that the practice of the Austin Hernia Center and the Austin Surgeons overlapped; same number. There was only one doctor listed as a hernia specialist and I had seen the wrong one. Apparently you have to figure that out for yourself. So I made an appointment with the hernia surgeon.
I saw him on Monday and what a relief! He will do the surgery robotically and feels quite confident. He explained it in detail and showed me the CT scan, etc. He seemed baffled (who knows?) by his partner’s behavior and ultimatum to me. He pointed out that a really high BMI or weight is a problem but that I am not in that category at all:) Yeah!!!!!!
It will still be lengthy surgery and recovery and I will be in the hospital a few days. I want to get it the hell over with so I scheduled it for June 2. He said he is clearing his calendar for that day because my surgery will take several hours: ugh.
My son is graduating from his college and we are having a party for him and then moving him and his sweet girlfriend and all their stuff back to Austin in late May. I figured I would just get it over with after that. I might as well get the summer going as soon as possible after this mess is done. I am taking the summer off of work, which will be a real relief.
It looks like a summer of hope and I am excited for it. I want to be healthy and active. My husband and I acted on a whim, sorta, and bought a 1977 Chrysler Buccaneer, 18ft. sailboat from a minister in north Texas. The boat and trailer are in near perfect condition and it was very inexpensive. We used to own a very small sailboat when we were first married and I know my husband has always missed it. So, when we saw the advert on Craigslist I told my husband to follow up on it. The boat needs a little maintenance but considering its age, not too much.
So, I plan to be OUT IN THE OPEN! I can’t get too much sun or I have a damned lupus flare or if I dive into the lake I get a sinus infection., etc. etc. but..
I am so much better than I have been in years and I think it’s time to just put on my floppy hat and enjoy everything.
I am grateful to have found out my daughter is staying in the general area another year as her boyfriend does a postdoctoral fellowship with his dissertation supervisor. My daughter just finished her Master’s thesis and is not ready to keep going academically at this point even though she is insanely gifted. She needs to clear her head a bit. Going to school in the pandemic has been hard on everyone; my son too.
So the summer looks bright and I want to be there!
Sad, dissapointing things happen and loved ones will continue to be sick, etc. but I feel like after I get the lumpy bits out of my tummy (looks like I swallowed a small animal… hernia is BAD.) I think I just plan on some JOY.
I hope you all have some JOY too:)