Update From Reality

Hi there, So things are better with immunoglobulins!  I am definitely stronger.  I infused again on Wednesday, so five days out from the first infusion.  The backlash was noticeably smaller.  I am having fewer fevers and more energy.  It is exciting.

Along with this news comes a reality check.  My husband has sort of let our finances slip through his fingers.  We are in a pickle.  Most of it has to do with my medical bills.  Don’t you love the American medical system?  Here we are, arguing over the need for reform when I, who am on the most fortunate end of the system, am still screwed over by it.

What I mean is, I have good insurance and my yearly income is well above average and yet we are still drowning in copays.  Medical bills are eating us alive.

I am taking over the checkbook after 28 years of marriage.  Can I ‘fix’ the damage caused by my chronic health issues? No. But I can look them squarely in the eye and pay them off.

It is never good news when you have a chronic illness.  I  am so happy to be feeling better and yet I am paralyzed with the fear of needing more medical care. I am at a sort of impasse’.  I no longer feel like seeking new doctors and new cures.  I no longer go to the ER when I am in pain.  I just live through it.

I don’t want to spend the money on nothing and I don’t want to drag my family along for the ride.  It isn’t worth it.

There are no cures.  All I have is today and I will live it and do the that I can.

Does that sound depressing?  Really, it isn’t.  Last week was much, much worse. 🙂