Tis’ the season to go crazy..
For me, it is a very short trip!
I thought I had made Christmas more of a streamlined thing now that my primary holiday is Hanukkah. No! Silly me! Christmas is still celebrated in my mixed household and I wouldn’t want it any other way. It is just that as kids grow and life circumstances change, it gets more difficult to be the mommy with all the responsibility.
I am very aware that I choose to do the things I do. I am always glad for the outcomes. In years past, Stan had a bit of Christmas spirit and that was somewhat contagious. He is fresh out this season so I have been trying to manufacture my own.
But, each new year brings new dynamics. High-lights for this year include: a re-occurrence of my pancreatitis symptoms (we do not discuss this) symptoms, insomnia, itching all over, whatever…
And.. Hannah is home from her first semester of college and she is sleeping and shuffling around like a zombie. Samuel is busy. He wants to have friends over and play computer games all the time. When I ask for help, he snarls.
Stan is busy.
My aunt is always complaining how broke she is and tired from taking her neighbor places.
My brother is not well so no help there.
My sister is not even in the picture.
And then, out of no-where, my father in law (who we have not seen in almost 20 years), e-mails this morning that he has sent the kids some checks for Christmas. WTF??????
He lives in Ecuador, with wife number 3. My kids have never met him. He was never a father to my husband: He was an alcoholic nightmare.
So, I hear he has reformed. That’s nice. I just have to say, hearing from him this morning was just another way to point out that the world is truly bizarre. You just never know what is going to come next. You think things are all quiet and then you hear the tinkle of glass breaking and the cat running quickly away from the scene of the tragedy.
You think your life is fairly organized and predictable and then ‘boom’ you end up with another disease complication. Which in turn, complicates everything else in your life.
Right now, I am upright and moving. I am not doubled over, puking and in mind boggling pain. This is all good. I’ll take it. I’ll take the check from my long lost father in law and cash it. I will take a decent health day and cash that too.
You have to grab these things as they pass by. You never know what will come up next!
Well it sounds a bit rough around there – like you are alone as an island in a stormy sea. Perhaps the father in law thing will turn out to be a blessing later? I hope so. I am glad you are upright. I like you that way. But any way you are I like you. I hear you. Tell HB I said hello and to wake up. Yes you have to grab things as they float by – we moms tend to live our lives in fragments of time. Hugs to you.