Positive affirmations!

Does anyone besides me remember the positive affirmations movement in the late 80’s and early 90’s ? It was so wide spread that it was even parodied on Saturday Night Live.

My therapist at the time told me to do it.  She said, “I want you to write down six positive affirmations, nice messages to yourself, and say them each day, all week long.”  I was supposed to tape them to the bathroom mirror.  They were lame.

It was like, “You are beautiful!” Or, “You are smart and organized.”

You get the picture.  I always felt self conscious, standing in the mirror and telling myself these things.  I was even supposed to hug myself: Gaaak!

So, here we are in the 21st century.  I think we are more jaded as a culture these days.  That isn’t necessarily a good thing, but it’s true.  I know I am more jaded.  I am older and have a tougher skin.

But it turns out there is still some room for positive affirmation.  But, just thinking up some platitudes and posting them on my bathroom mirror won’t work any better than it did twenty odd years ago.  I need to come up with things that are really and  truly from the heart.  Things that I have discovered in my deepest, darkest self… you get the idea:)

I have been seriously trying to change my eating habits. For the last two years, I have been gluten free and alcohol free and coffee free.  You would think that would be enough! But no, it isn’t.  If I want to lose weight while going off and on medications like prednisone, I have to get really serious.  If I want to keep my body moving on the days it hurts all over, I have to get really serious.

So, I joined Weight Watchers online and I started giving myself walking challenges.  This has been helping.  I started losing a bit of weight and a bit of flab.

And then, I started writing down my food and my WW points, after the fact.  I mean, I would guesstimate what I had eaten and make it fit into the points I had available for that day. And BADA BING! I quit losing weight.

Poor, pathetic me!

So Sad. I just cannot seem to lose the weight.  What is wrong with me??

I am a liar.  That is what is wrong with me.  I lie to myself.  I am playing games with myself.  There are no victims here: just me, lying to me.

So, I had an aha moment: I LOVE MYSELF MORE THAN I LOVE FOOD.

That is a new one for me.  Food has comforted me and calmed me and given me something to hide behind my whole life.  But, if I truly love myself more than I love food then there are no more excuses.  All I have to do now is love myself thin.

So, that is my positive affirmation.  It is pretty simple. Every time my hand reaches into the pantry or the fridge I will ask myself, “is this because you love yourself and you are hungry and making a good choice? ”

I just hope I don’t tell myself to eff off!